All Souls

Sunday Service, 3 November 2024

Led by Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall

Musical Prelude: Songs without Words, No. 25 - Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy (Holly Redshaw and Andrew Robinson)

Opening Words: ‘In the Company of All Souls’ by Lynn Thomas Strauss (adapted) 

Today, in our special All Souls service, we bring

and share our memories of loved ones who have died.

Today we share the joys and sorrows

that come with the cycle of the seasons,

for this is the time to remember, to honour,

and to hold the spirit of our loved ones.

Let us truly be here now. Breathe into this moment.

Know that we are in the company of All Saints, All Souls.

And let the presence of those you have loved fill your heart.

Be strengthened by the guiding hand of the grandparents.

Be nurtured by the compassion of our great-grandparents.

Feel the spirits of the young, who also belong to us, all connected.

And be inspired by the vast company of witnesses here gathered.

Let us hold close all those who have shown us the way.

May our memories be not a burden of sorrow

but a source of joy and renewed spirit.

For we walk where they have walked

and we might carry on their dreams.

May this church be a sanctuary and a resting place.

And may it also be a place of preparation – a place to

learn generosity, gentleness, trust, and integrity.

A place to know that we are blessed.

In that spirit, let us join in worship, together. (pause)

Words of Welcome and Introduction: 

These opening words by Lynn Thomas Strauss welcome all who have gathered this morning for our Sunday service. Welcome to those of you who have gathered in-person at Essex Church, to all who are joining us via Zoom, and anyone watching on YouTube or listening to the podcast. For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m Jane Blackall, and I’m minister with Kensington Unitarians.

As you will have gathered from our opening words, this morning’s service marks All Souls, this special day when we remember our loved ones who have died and take time to give thanks for their lives. As the renowned UU minister Carl Seaburg wrote, many years ago: ‘All Souls Day is set apart in many churches for the commemoration of those ‘holy souls’ who have graced our lives and passed from our living circle.  Their radiance, their works, their memories, are still with us – and on this day we meet to celebrate them fondly.  And thoughtfully too, remembering that we also some day shall follow where they went.’ Thoughtful words from Carl Seaburg, who indeed died himself in 1998.

Later on in the service we will hold a special candle-lighting ritual where you will be invited to name those people you would like to honour and share a sentence or two to acknowledge and honour the ways in which their presence and their influence lives on in you. I’ll explain that bit when we get to it.

Chalice Lighting: ‘Their Brightness Lives On’ by Florence Caplow

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. It’s a moment for us to stop and take a breath, settle ourselves down, put aside any preoccupations we came in carrying. This simple ritual connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over, and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which this gathering is part.

(light chalice) 

As we kindle this the flame, we honour and remember

Those who have passed into the mystery.

Their brightness lives on in our vision;

their courage lives on in our commitments;

and their love continues to bless the world through us.

Hymn 191 (green): ‘To Worship Rightly’

Let’s sing together. Our first hymn is number 191 in your green book, if you’re in the building, and for those joining via zoom the words will be up on screen (as they will for all our hymns): ‘To Worship Rightly’. It’s an old favourite to a familiar tune (though it’s quite high-pitched I think). Feel free to stand or sit as you prefer and let’s sing up as best we can to hymn number 191.

Now let us sing in loving celebration;

The holier worship, which our God may bless,

Restores the lost, binds up the spirit broken,

And feeds the widow and the parentless.

Fold to thy heart thy sister and thy brother;

Where pity dwells, the peace of God is there;

To worship rightly is to love each other;

Each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.

Follow with reverent steps the great example

Of those whose holy work was doing good:

So shall the wide earth seem our daily temple,

Each loving life a psalm of gratitude.

Then shall all shackles fall; the stormy clangour

Of wild war-music o’er the earth shall cease;

Love shall tread out the baleful fire of anger,

And in its ashes plant the tree of peace.

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. We’ll go to the people in the building first, then to Zoom.

So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us briefly who or what you light your candle for. I’m going to ask you to come to the lectern to speak this time as I really want people to be able to hear you and I don’t want to keep nagging you about getting close to the handheld mic. And if you can’t get to the microphone give me a wave and I’ll bring a handheld mic over to you. Thank you.

(in person candles)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Elizabeth Bukey

Let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer. This prayer is based on words we use quite often, by Elizabeth Bukey. You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,

   we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,

      as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom

         to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.

      Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the

         silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (pause)

We gather in reverence and thanks for You,

Ground of our Being, Source of all Good.

We are grateful for the gift of another breath,

and for each moment of connection, beauty, and truth.

Cry with us in our pain for our world.

Remind us that we are loved, just as we are.

Remind us that we are connected with all that is.

Remind us that we do not journey alone.

Give us what we need for today.

Call us back to our promises, commitments, and values.

Help us love ourselves and each other,

And to show that love in our actions.

Make us instruments of justice, equity, and compassion.

Free us from all that is evil; keep us from wrong.

We declare that life and love are stronger than tyranny and fear,

That a world of beauty and love is coming,

And we must shape it together. (pause)

In our company this morning, and every time we gather in community,

there will be those whose hearts are freshly broken open:

by loss and grief, rejection and loneliness, disappointment and meaninglessness.

Let us spend a quiet moment directing prayers of loving-kindness to the broken-hearted. (pause)

In our company this morning, and every time we gather in community,

there will be those whose hearts are full and overflowing:

buoyed by the beauty of nature and culture, uplifted by family and friends.

Let us spend a quiet moment directing prayers of thanks for all that is good in our lives. (pause)

In our company this morning, and every time we gather in community,

there will be those who are simply keeping on keeping on as best they can:

their hearts a blessed, messy, blend of all life’s mixed emotions.

Let us spend a quiet moment asking for what we need to face life’s ups and downs.  (pause)

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up

   our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,

      and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,

     help us to live well each day and be our best selves;

     using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen.

Reading: ‘Immortality’ by Leslie Takahashi (read by Brian)

In the daily weave of our lives, those who have died are still strong, guiding threads.

Theirs is the golden glimmer or perhaps the brilliant red or the melancholy blue—

still they are part of the whole cloth of our lives.

They are the ancestors: the “goers before.”

Through this, we know immortality.

In the hour-to-hour rush of our daily tasks, they travel with us

through something they taught us which is now ours to do;

through something they loved which is now ours to carry out;

through something we shared which is now ours alone and yet not.

Through this, we know immortality.

In the minute-to-minute grasp of where we are, we remember

the joys our departed gave us which opened us up to hope,

the sorrows we knew together which taught us strength,

the life shared which is now ours to steward.

Through this, we know immortality.

In the second-to-second pulse of life,

we sense the spirit of those we have loved and lost.

This presence is too shy for naming, too amorphous for full knowing

and yet as real as the days we shared.

Through this, we know immortality.

They are more than remembered, they are memory itself.

For what we love lives on in the way our beloved dead accompany us through our life—

their words and wisdom our guide, their humour our relief,

their restless concern for the world our charge.

Through this, we know immortality.

Hymn 292 (green): ‘Undying Echoes’

Thanks Brian. Time for our next hymn now, it’s one of our lesser known ones, number 292 in your green book: ‘Undying Echoes’. We pretty much only sing it once a year at this service but I love the words so much and it’s really the key message of All Souls – that those who have died somehow leave a legacy behind in the way that their lives touched others – they leave undying echoes in those who live on. It’s only a short hymn so I’ll ask Andrew to play a verse through before we sing. Hymn 292.

The lives which touch our own each day

Are influenced unconsciously

By views we hold, the things we say,

Our simple acts of charity.  

On earth we still receive the light

Of stars burnt out in aeons past,

The lives of those who served the right

Shine with a lustre that will last.

This life of ours can never end,

Its influence still perseveres;

For by our deeds we ever send

Undying echoes down the years.

Reading: ‘Love Does Not Disappear’ by Elea Kemler (read by Julia)

This piece, by Unitarian Universalist minister Elea Kemler, opens with some prayerful words by Molly Housh Gordon: ‘Mysterious Source of Love, moving within and between and among us; upholding and connecting all: the living, the dead, and the generations yet to come. We give thanks for the web of all creation, strands interwoven. And for the gifts of love, which can never be ungiven or unravelled.’

Elea Kemler continues: In the eighteen years I’ve served as minister of my small-town congregation, I have led 96 memorial services, most for people I have loved. I didn’t realize how much the deaths would hurt. The longer I stay, the deeper I love and the more I grieve. This seems so obvious, but I was surprised by it. Another surprise has been how our beloved dead seem to make themselves known; how they seem to linger with us for a little while.

Once, after a memorial service, everyone left the church and gathered on the sidewalk in the sunlight of a still, summer afternoon. As we stood there, a huge gust of wind blew down the street. We could see it coming, almost like a tumbleweed. For maybe five seconds, the wind was all around us and over us. We turned and watched the gust blow down the street and then it was completely still again. “There she goes,” someone said.

Another time, I was about to lead the memorial service for a man who shared a love of butterflies with his wife. Their home was filled with images of butterflies and we had put a photo of one on the order of service.  As I stood at the church door, a huge orange and black butterfly flew near. It circled me three times, above my head, around my shoulders, at my knees and then flew away. When I told his wife about it, she nodded. “Butterflies have been all around me since he died,” she said.

Last spring a beloved elder died who believed he would be reincarnated as a red-tailed hawk. I told the congregation about his death at Sunday morning services. I had taped a picture of a red-tailed hawk on the front pew where he always sat. Several people told me that as I was making the announcement, they were looking out the sanctuary windows and saw a large hawk soaring above the church.

Over the years I've heard many stories – stories about dragonflies and rainbows and love songs coming on the radio at just the right moment. Maybe it is just coincidence.  Maybe we’re looking for signs so we find them. But maybe those we love are nearer to us than we realize. Maybe love is vaster than the limits of our understanding.  I believe that it is. (pause)

Elea Kemler concludes with a few words of prayer: Source of Love, we are sustained and upheld by the love of those who have gone before us. May we know, deep in our bones, that love does not disappear.

Meditation: ‘They Are Still Ours’ by Victoria Weinstein

Thanks Julia. We’re moving into a time of meditation now. To take us into a time of silence, I’m going to share a few words from UU minister Victoria Weinstein, words which affirm that our relationships with those we have loved and lost goes on beyond death, while also acknowledging the sometimes-complicated nature of the relationship we have with those who have died. Then we’ll hold three minutes of silence which will end with the sound of a bell. We’ll hear some music for continued reflection.  Let’s do what we need to do to get comfortable – maybe adjust your position – put your feet flat on the floor to ground yourself – as we always say, the words are an offering, use this time to meditate in your own way.  Some words from Victoria Weinstein:

‘There is no need to end our relationship

with our dead, for they are still ours: 

still ours to struggle with, to learn from, and to love.

There is no timeline for grieving them

and there is no finitude to loving them.

Through time – as long a time as it takes –

we take their dreams and their desires

and their issues and integrate them into our own;

we make use of whatever hard-won wisdom

they were lucky enough to gain while they lived.

We continue to forgive them, if forgiveness is called for.

We continue the work of their hands.’ (pause)

‘There is no need to end our relationship

with our dead, for they are still ours: 

still ours to struggle with, to learn from, and to love.’

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell

Interlude: Mvt 2 from Concerto in A Minor - Antonio Vivaldi (performed by Holly Redshaw and Andrew Robinson)

Responsive Reading: ‘This Sacred Thread’ by Heather K. Janules (read by Liz)

I invite you to join in with a responsive reading which leads us in to our time of sharing and our candle-lighting ritual for All Souls. It’s on your hymn sheet if you’re here in the building at Essex Church but the words will also be on screen at home. Please join in with the words that are printed in bold. (pause)

They once dwelled among us, the people of memory.

They who knew us, they who taught us,

They who hurt us, they who loved us.

They touch our lives time and again,

through their presence and their absence.

Through familiar scents and favourite songs,

Through old stories and renewed sorrow.

As the earth turns and leaves fall,

We reach back to renew the bonds between us.

With hearts and hands open

We hold onto to love, ever-stronger than death.

We reach back in gratitude and understanding -

Without our time together, the pain and the joy,

We would never be who we are today;

We would have little to pass on ourselves.

Without fear, with thanksgiving

and with hope for all that awaits,

We remember those who have gone before,

We honour the circle of life and death,

And our place within this sacred thread.

INTERACTIVE: Sharing for All Souls: Honouring our Beloved Dead

We’ve come to a time in our service to mark All Souls with a simple ritual to honour the memory of those we have loved who have died. UU minister Christine Robinson says: ‘At this darkening time of the year, our thoughts turn to things past, to life retreating, to those who are no longer with us. Images come to our minds; of dear companions, who once graced our lives, loved ones whom we miss, persons whose lives made an impact on our lives; of all those who were here, contributing, caring, and are now gone. Our memories bring both joy and sadness; let us not push these feelings away. For our recollections attest to the enduring importance of these friends, this love, our memories. May these brave and lovely spirits live again in our tender thoughts, and prove that death and distance are powerless to sever the bonds that connect truly loving hearts.’

We’ve got about ten minutes for our ritual and we’ll do this in a similar way to the Candles of Joy and Concern – I’ll invite the people in the room first – then the people on Zoom. As ever it’s an invitation not an obligation – there’s no pressure. By default we will leave this bit in the recording of the service, so if you join in but don’t want to be included in the video that goes on YouTube, have a word with me or drop me an email to let me know straight after the service and I’ll make sure to edit you out.

So for the people in the room, please come up when you’re ready, come to the microphone, speak the name of the person you want to remember, and a sentence or two to acknowledge and honour the ways in which their presence and their influence lives on in you. And then light a candle for the person you’ve named on the way back to your seat. You are welcome to name more than one person, but be aware of how long you’re speaking, so that everyone who wants to join in can have be heard in the time we’ve got. Sadly we won’t have time to hear more of your shared story during the service today but these conversations can always continue afterwards.

(in person ritual)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – we’re going to do this slightly differently than usual – when you’re ready to speak please put your hand up and Ramona will spotlight you when she sees you. When it invites you to unmute please do so and please go ahead and speak – say the name of the person you want to remember, and how you were connected to them in just a word or two. And we’ll light a tealight candle for you here.

(zoom ritual)

If that’s everyone… thank you for joining in with our All Souls Ritual.  Let’s close it with a blessing.

Spirit of Life, God of All Love,

whom we know best in our own loving and being loved,

hold us as we remember those we have loved,

and those who have loved us.

May our gratitude shine in our lives,

may our tears soothe our tender souls.

Help us to know that we are not alone in our grieving,

and help us also to come to that peaceful place

in which we can take what we learned

from those who have gone before us,

and integrate it into our own lives.

Remind us that we, too, are mortal;

that the only enduring legacy we leave

is the love that shines through our lives.  Amen.

Hymn (on sheet): ‘Give Thanks for Life’

Our final hymn today is on your hymn sheet: ‘Give Thanks for Life’. Sing up as best you can.

Give thanks for life, the measure of our days,

mortal, we pass through beauty that decays,

yet sing to God our hope, our love, our praise:

Alleluia, Alleluia!

Give thanks for those whose lives shone with a light

caught from the Christ-flame, gleaming through the night,

who touched the truth, who burned for what is right:

Alleluia, Alleluia!

Give thanks for all, our living and our dead,

thanks for the love by which our life is fed,

a love not changed by time or death or dread:

Alleluia, Alleluia!

Give thanks for hope that like a seed of grain

lying in darkness, does its life retain

to rise in glory, growing green again:

Alleluia, Alleluia!

Announcements:

Thanks to Ramona for tech-hosting. Thanks to Shari for co-hosting. If you’re joining on Zoom please do hang on after the service for a chat. Thanks to Brian, Julia and Liz for reading. Thanks to Holly and Andrew for lovely music and Benjie for supporting our singing. Thanks to Hannah for greeting and Julia for making coffee. For those of you who are here in-person – do stay for a cuppa and some cake (it’s plum, hazelnut and chocolate again this week) – that’ll be served in the hall next door.

We’ve got various other activities coming up. Most notably we have Many Voices singing group this afternoon – with special guest leader Val Regan (invite Gaynor to come up and speak) – and if you stay for the singing there will be an extra bonus cake! Berry Lime Drizzle will appear at 1pm.

Tonight and Friday at 7pm we’ve got our regular ‘Heart and Soul’ online gathering – it is a great way to get to know others on a deeper level – this week’s theme is ‘Playtime’. Sign up with me if you want to get the Zoom link for that or if you just want to know more about it.

On Wednesday Brian is leading the Poetry Group – that’s in person here at the church at 7pm – have a word with him if you want to be there and let him have a copy of your poetry choice.

New event to draw to your attention – Heidi and John will be holding a book launch after the service on 24th November – there will be readings and refreshments and all are welcome.

Our next ‘Better World Book Club’ will be on ‘When the Dust Settles’ by Lucy Easthope – very interesting book – I think we’ve loaned out all our copies but if you’d like to join us on 24th November and you aren’t able to get hold of a copy let me know and I’ll see what we can do.

Also looking ahead to December – yes already – if you want to get the dates in your diary we’re having our main carol service and lunch on 15th, then a festive tea dance on the 22nd, and we’ll have our usual candlelit Christmas Eve as well of course. Carolyn has also mentioned to me that she’s interested in organising a group to go out for dinner after the service on Christmas Eve so if this is something you might want to join in with please do get in touch with her to make a plan.

Next week’s service will be our Remembrance service which I’ll be co-leading with Sarah Tinker. Please make sure to get here early next week – we’d like everyone to be settled in at five to eleven – so that we can mark the traditional two minutes of silence on the dot at 11am.   

Details of all our various activities are printed on the back of the order of service, for you to take away, and also in the Friday email.  Please do sign up for the mailing list if you haven’t already. The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections. 

I think that’s everything. Just time for our closing words and closing music now. 

Benediction: based on words by Robert Hardies

Every year, All Souls Day affords us

the opportunity to remember the dead,

and to remember also that one day we will join them,

that one day people will sit in this very sanctuary

- or perhaps another - and call out our names.

In death, all borders are erased, and our souls return

to that one great soul from which we all have come.

This is death’s lesson, that what unites us

is far greater than what divides us. 

And the great challenge for us is not to wait

until death is knocking on our own door to discover this,

but to see it now… and, with that vision, to live into the promise

of the great family of all souls. May it be so, for the greater good of all. Amen

Closing Music: Sally Sits A-Weeping - Trad., piano accompaniment by Cecil Sharp (Holly Redshaw and Andrew Robinson)