Mementos

Sunday Service, 16 June 2024

Led by Liz Tuckwell

Musical Prelude: John Ireland – Spring Sorrow (played by George Ireland)

Opening Words: ‘We Co-Create this Sanctuary’ by Jack Mendelsohn

With our presence and intention we make this gathering a sanctuary;

a space of dreams and wisdom and beauty, where we come to grow,

to be healed, to stretch mind and heart, to be challenged, renewed;

to be helped in our own continuing struggles for meaning and for love;

to help build a world with more justice and mercy in it;

to be counted among the hopers and doers.

In the face of cynicism, shadows, and brutality around us and within,

we seek to align ourselves with a community that would affirm rather than despair,

that would think and act to bring about a better world rather than simply adjust and succumb.

Here we invite the spirit of our own humanity

and the healing powers under, around, through and beyond it,

to give us the nerve and grace, the toughness and sensitivity,

to search out the truth that frees, and the life that makes all things new. (pause)

Words of Welcome and Introduction:

These opening words by Jack Mendelsohn welcome all who have gathered this morning, for our Sunday service. Welcome to those of you who have gathered in-person at Essex Church, to all who are joining us via Zoom from far and wide, and all who are viewing on YouTube at a later date. For anyone who doesn’t know me, my name is Liz Tuckwell, I’m chair of the congregation, and I’ll be leading our congregational service today as our minister Jane is on compassionate leave this week.

This morning’s service is on the theme of ‘Mementos’ – we’ll be reflecting on the importance of those physical objects, keepsakes, trinkets, and treasures which hold significance for us – items which remind us of loved ones, of places we have visited, of special moments in our lives, or even of values we hold. Later in the service (in the bit where there would usually be a sermon) there’ll be a chance for you to come up to join in a show-and-tell of some of your own mementos (even if you haven’t brought anything along with you it’s fine; you can talk about them anyway). And as Jane always says, don’t worry, it’s an invitation and not an obligation, but it’d be great if you feel able to join in.

Chalice Lighting: ‘Our Ancestors’ Legacies’ by Kimberlee Anne Tomczak Carlson (adapted)

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. This simple ritual connects us with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over, and reminds us of the proudly progressive religious tradition of which this gathering is part.

(light chalice)

We are a people of memory and hope; of faithfulness and liberation.

As inheritors of our ancestors’ legacies, we hold their stories tenderly.

Gleaning wisdom from diverse journeys; we unite in hope for the future.

Guide us to trust in truth and love as we kindle this flame together.

Hymn 194 (purple): ‘We Light the Flame’

Let’s sing together now. Our first hymn is number 194 in the purple book, ‘We Light the Flame’. For those joining via Zoom the words will be up on screen. Feel free to stand or sit as you prefer.

We light the flame that kindles our devotions.

We lift our hearts in blessed community.

The mind has thoughts, the heart its true emotions,

we celebrate in worship, full and free.

Our faith transcends the boundaries of oceans.

All shall be granted worth and dignity.

So many ways to witness to the wonder.

So many dreams by day for us to dare.

Yet, reaching out, each way is made the grander,

and love made bold for dreamers everywhere.

Diversity will never cast asunder

our common weal, our bonds of mutual care.

Infinite Spirit, dwell with us, we pray thee,

that we may share in life abundantly.

Forgive our sins, feed us with good bread daily,

with strength resist temptation steadfastly.

O God of life, sustain us now, and may we

with mindful hearts, be thankful constantly.

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. This time we’re going to go to the people in the building first, and take all of those in one go, and then I’ll call on the people on Zoom to come forward.

So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us briefly who or what you light your candle for. Please do get up close to the microphone as that will help everyone hear (including the people at home). You can take the microphone out of the stand if it’s not at a good height and have it microphone pointing right at your mouth. And if you can’t get to the microphone give me a wave and I’ll bring it over to you. Thank you.

(in person candles)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Carter Smith

Let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer. This prayer is based on some words by Carter Smith. You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,

we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,

as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom

to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.

Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the

silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (short pause)

As we gather together this morning,

We seek to know grace, so that

we might honour our interconnectedness,

with each other and those who have gone before us.

When we witness suffering, in ourselves

and in the world around us, may we know compassion.

When we are at a loss for words, when we’re unsure of the path ahead,

may we be guided by this compassion to be witnesses still;

To know and to feel the truth that this human family

is suffering and broken, and that it is breaking

with every life lost and with each time someone’s dignity is denied.

When we find ourselves exhausted and defeated,

and unsure of where to go, may we keep witnessing,

turning ever further toward your still, small voice.

Remind us too that the experience of suffering

does not close us off from the possibility of joy.

May we know that our interconnectedness is a miracle,

and may it be a refuge for us, felt in the voice of a friend,

in the touch of a loved one, in memories of days spent in good company.

May we remain grateful for the goodness

we’ve witnessed and enacted in the world,

and may the warmth of our lives together hold us in love

as we move into a future that is as uncertain as ever.

Spirit of Life, God of All Love,

we ask to know your presence,

that it may remind us of what is sacred

in each and every precious moment. (short pause – about 5 seconds)

And in a few moments of shared silence and stillness now,

may we speak inwardly some of those deepest prayers of our hearts —

the joys and sorrows we came in carrying –

in our own lives and the lives of the wider world.

Let us each lift up whatever is on our heart this day,

and ask for what we most need. (long pause – about 30 seconds)

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up

our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,

and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,

help us to live well each day and be our best selves;

using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen

Hymn 39 (purple): ‘For the Splendour of Creation’

Let’s sing together again now. Our next hymn is number 39 in the purple book: ‘For the Splendour of Creation’. The words will be up on screen. Feel free to stand or sit as you prefer.

For the splendour of creation that draws us to inquire,

for the mystery of knowledge to which our hearts aspire,

for the deep and subtle beauties which delight the eye and ear,

for the discipline of logic, the struggle to be clear,

for the unexplained remainder, the puzzling and the odd:

for the joy and pain of learning, we give you thanks, O God.

For the scholars past and present whose bounty we digest,

for the teachers who inspire us to summon forth our best,

for our rivals and companions, sometimes foolish, sometimes wise,

for the human web upholding this noble enterprise,

for the common life that binds us through days that soar or plod:

for this place and for these people, we give you thanks, O God.

Reading: ‘Tie Tack’ by Gordon McKeeman (Roy to read)

[This piece by Gordon McKeeman is called ‘Tie Tack’. It was only written about 20 years ago but already idea of a ‘tie tack’ (or a ‘tie pin’ as it’s more often known in the UK) is something that these days people could easily grow up without encountering! So just in case anyone might not move in the circles where such things are worn: it’s a fancy ornamental pin to hold a necktie in place].

There are many relics in our home – objects to which important memories are attached. You probably have some, too. Each recalls some journey, event, or person that is a part of your life’s experience. They’re precious on that account – religious objects that summon up powerful recollections. One of my favourites is my tie tack. it’s an opal, full of fiery iridescence.

The tie tack was an unexpected gift. Its former owner, the donor, came out of the church’s worship one Sunday. As I greeted him, I noticed his tie tack and I said to him, “What a beautiful opal!” On the spot, he took it off, and gave it to me. I was both delighted and chagrined. I took of my tie tack, a UU flaming chalice, and gave it to him. It was far from an equal exchange. More important, what he did in that fleeting moment was very typical of him. He was a person of whom it could be said without exaggeration, “He’d give you the shirt off his back.” He lived quite an ordinary life. He was a salesman of advertising novelties, so he spent much time in his car travelling from client to client. He spent a significant portion of his driving time thinking of ways to improve the community. He could be counted on to suggest some modest and simple change that would make a positive and real difference in people’s lives. Some of his ideas were real winners, saving much public money and touching many lives with joy and opportunity. My life was one of those.

One of the joys associated with wearing a necktie is to put on my tie tack. I have quite a few of them, but my opal is always my choice. It’s a ritual. I put it on and remember the man who gave it to me, and I resolve to find in this day some opportunity to continue what was his real life’s work: doing something simple, modest, and useful to improve the life of the community.

Over the many years I have worn my tie tack, many people have admired it. To many of them I have told the story of my acquisition of it and of what it means to me. With each telling I have confessed that I ought to give it away, since that’s how I obtained it – by admiring it. Some day I know I will give it away, together with its story. Meanwhile I say that I’m keeping a list of its admirers and offering to add the name of another possible recipient. Meanwhile, I keep wearing it and keep reminding myself of its meaning in my life.

Reflecting on one’s relics now and then is a useful spiritual discipline – remembering the events, the persons, the occasions when ordinary things were somehow transformed into religious objects. All around us are the reminders of the days of our lives, the people whose touch was a blessing, a balm, an invitation, a beckoning to be a better person – deeper, more secure, more daring, more generous, more caring. My tie tack does more – much, much more – than hold my tie.

On some ordinary day, like today, I invite you to consider your relics.

Meditation: ‘Grandpa’s Keepsakes’ by Casey Derengowski (read by Brian)

Thanks Roy. We’re moving into a time of meditation now. In a moment I’m going to invite Brian to come up and share a poem with us – the poem speaks of a box of old keepsakes that connect us to the past. This will take us into 3 minutes of silence which will end with the sound of a bell. Then we’ll hear some music from George. So let’s each do what we need to do to get comfortable – adjust your position if you need to – put your feet flat on the floor to ground yourself – close your eyes. As we always say, the words are an offering, feel free to use this time to meditate in your own way.

‘Grandpa’s Keepsakes’ by Casey Derengowski

I was up in the attic getting decorations for Mom

shuffling through boxes all covered with dust

she found a stack of discolored old photos

I spied a chest that she said had been Gramps’.

I remember him well, so full of stories

he could just about fix anything broken

we cried when he died after plenty of years

he was our link to events of the past.

I knew that chest was a treasure for me

I hauled it carefully to the quiet of my room

sat on the floor, the chest at my feet

anxious to explore years long gone by.

It was full of clutter, keepsakes and stuff

pictures of Granny, he loved her so

he made her blush, she’d make him laugh

they’d talk to each other without using words.

Within, a pocket knife to cut apples for kids

or initials into our walking sticks

he whittled birds from chunks of scrap wood

or cleaned his nails against Gram’s advice.

There was a garter, a ring, and a corncob pipe

a photo of him saving a colt

there were many other things tucked into that box

but too many tears came into my eyes.

I treasure that chest now placed on the hearth

as well as the items that had meaning to Gramps

I’ll pass on the stories to grandkids and kin

along with these artifacts so dear to me now.

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell

Interlude: Mozart – Entr’acte to Die Zauberflöte, Act II (played by George Ireland)

Reading: ‘The Things We Hold Dear’ by Vanessa Rush Southern (Shari to read)

Once, long ago, I attended an informal worship service at church and was surprised to discover that everyone had been asked to bring an object of some personal significance. I dug around frantically in my bag and in my pockets for something to offer the group. Ultimately, I chose the watch I was wearing.

The watch is something my aunt had given to me. I wear it every day. Sometimes it is my only adornment. I had never thought about it having significance until that moment, but it does. It was given to me upon my graduation from college. That event was a time that brought friends and family out of the woodwork and out to California. It was a wonderful celebration, a new beginning, and a fond farewell. The watch reminds me of that time.

It also reminds me of the woman who gave it to me, my Aunt Anne. I lived with Anne in Denver for six months when my family relocated from Los Angeles to New York. She had two sons and longed for a daughter. For six months I was that daughter, and she spoiled me rotten. When it came time to come to New York, she bought me a new dress and put us up in fancy hotel. One night we tried to order sorbet at midnight. When Anne was told that room service stopped at 11pm, she told them to deliver the dessert as soon as service reopened in the morning. Sure enough, bright and early the next day a stunning silver stand with a bowl of raspberry sorbet cased in ice arrived at our door. Anne let me eat it for breakfast. This woman was indulgent and adoring and bigger than life to me. The watch she gave me reminds me of her and, in some funny way, teases me into some larger living of my own.

I was surprised to derive so much meaning from that watch. I found the process of unearthing its meaning to be so rewarding that I tried an experiment the other day. I asked some women who were coming to dinner to bring with them an object of personal significance. Once they arrived, I asked them to do what I had once done – to find something else of significance they simply had with them.

Out came the most extraordinary array of things: yellowed handkerchiefs and pieces of old woollen blankets, rosaries and wedding rings, worn-out sayings on dog-eared cards and… one watch. Once we heard the stories behind these simple objects, we saw that they were not simple at all. Each was rich with meaning. What really lay there were not objects, but the reminders of the grandmothers we knew and loved, or the great grandmothers we never knew but whose extraordinary lives made us wish we had, or the men and women we’d grown up admiring. Before us were the spouses and partners we loved and the lives we had built or were building with them. All of these people were reflected in (and inextricably a part of) a few otherwise ordinary objects.

Again and again, I find it amazing that the material things we truly treasure are not so extraordinary after all. They are merely the things that remind us of the people and places, the hard-won truths, and the ways of living we hold dear. They are mementos of all that is good and beautiful and true in our lives, and we carry them like talismans, close by, to keep us safe.

An Invitation to Show-and-Tell About Our Mementos

Thanks Shari. So we have about ten minutes now to share our own brief reflections and experiences on ‘mementos’ – if you’ve brought something to show-and-tell that’s great – but even if you haven’t you’re welcome to come up and tell us about a significant keepsake or treasured item.

I invite anyone who wants to join in to come up to the mic in turn – please come up to the lectern this time – and we’ll do it like our joys and concerns, except we are going to try and mix and mingle in-person and online, people online can chip in as you’d like, unmute and speak up when you’re ready.

As always there’s a balance to be struck; I’m not sure how many people will want to join in, and I don’t want to inhibit anyone’s sharing, but do bear in mind how long you’re speaking for so that everyone who wants to join in can get a chance to do so. Just to let you know this will be default stay in the service recording; if you want to be edited out let me know straight after the service as we’ll edit the video later this afternoon. And as with everything else it’s an invitation not an obligation.

(people come up and speak out)

If everyone who wants to speak has spoken – thank you for your contributions – it’s good to get these little insights into each other’s lives and the things that matter most to each of us. (pause)

Hymn 90 (purple): ‘Let Us Give Thanks and Praise’

Time for our last hymn now, it’s number 90 in the purple book, ‘Let Us Give Thanks and Praise’. Sing up as best you can for this our final hymn today.

Let us give thanks and praise for the gifts which we share,

for our food and our friendship, for water and air,

for the earth and the sky and the stars and the sea,

and the trust we all have in God’s love flowing free.

Give a shout of amazement at what life can bring,

put your heart into raising the song all can sing.

What a world we could build with our minds and our hands

where the people live freely and God understands.

Let us give of our best with the tools we shall need,

use our eyes, hands and brains so that we may succeed.

Inspire us to cultivate what we have sown

so that nature and nurture make a world we may own.

We adore you, great Mother, O help us to live

with a love for each other that each one can give

let the pain of our brothers and sisters be faced

and the healing of all souls on earth be embraced.

Announcements:

Thanks to Ramona for tech-hosting. Thanks to Jeannene for co-hosting and welcoming everyone online. Thanks to Roy, Brian, and Shari for reading and to everyone else who contributed to the sharing. Thanks to George for playing for us today. Thanks to our volunteers for doing coffee and for greeting. For those of you who are in-person – please do stay for a cuppa after the service – served in the hall next door. If you’re joining on zoom please do hang on after for a chat with Jeannene.

If you’re here in-person I encourage you to stay on to sing with Margaret at 12.30. These monthly singing classes are free of charge and she can help everyone make a better sound.

We also have our regular online ‘Heart & Soul’ Contemplative Spiritual Gathering tonight and Friday at 7pm. It is a great way to get to know others on a deeper level – sign up with Jane if you want to get the link – or there’s an in-person Heart and Soul with Brian on Wednesday.

Sonya will be here as usual for her Nia dance classes at lunchtime on Friday.

And if you want to join us for this month’s ‘Better World Book Club’ – that’s meeting on Zoom at 7.30pm on Sunday 23rd June – we’re exploring ‘The Book of Forgiving’ by Desmond and Mpho Tutu. Please do pick up a flyer if you’re here in-person with all the upcoming titles. We’ve got a few copies of that in the church library if you’d like to borrow one.

On Monday 24th June our very own Abby Lorimier is holding a teatime concert here at church with her new chamber music collective ‘Monday’s Child’. That’s for an hour from 5.30pm. It’s a pay-what-you-can ticketed event. There was a link to Eventbrite tickets in the Friday email.

Next Sunday we’ll be back for a service on ‘Life’s Seasons and Milestones’ – that’ll be led by Jeannene Powell with reflections from me, Sonya Leite, and Jennifer Young – do join us for that.

Details of all our various activities are printed on the back of the order of service, for you to take away, and also in the Friday email. Please do sign up for the mailing list if you haven’t already. The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.

I think that’s everything. Just time for our closing words and closing music now.

Benediction: based on words by George G. Brooks

Our time together ends; but in the days ahead,

may the love that gives to life its beauty,

the reverence that gives to life its sacredness,

and the purposes that give to life its deep significance

be strong within each of us and lead us

into ever deepening relationships with all of life. Amen.

Closing Music: Haydn – Finale from Sonata XVI: 19, Allegro Assai (played by George Ireland)

Led by Liz Tuckwell

16th June 2024